05-03-00
Today I had occasion to spend the afternoon with a woman who is obsessed with 'her stories.' You always hear about someone's grandmother calling soap operas 'stories,' but I'd never actually heard it in person for real. Ever. So, the upshot of this story is that she was a fan of the soap opera Another World, which NBC replaced with Passions. While she finds Passions interesting for the same reasons that Janeane Garofalo does, namely Tabitha the witch and her living doll, Timmy, she deeply resents the fact that her story was cancelled.
Now, I can appreciate her disappointment and resentment. I liked Another World; other than the usual silly sexual escapades and whatnot, it was a decent show. No demonic possessions, not a lot of returns from the grave, and you could easily track who was related to whom. Of course, it appealed to an older demographic, and Passions is almost entirely watched by teenagers and college kids, but hey. More disposable income or something. But what I deeply resented was this woman's freakish knowledge of everything that has ever happened on any soap opera, EVER. I mean ever. Really. She was talking about shit that happened on Edge of Night, a soap that hasn't existed for YEARS. And she knows all the actors names on all the soaps, too. And how is this all possible, you ask? Soap Opera Digest. A magazine wholly dedicated to soaps of all genres, just for people who have to know everything there is to know about their favorite actors! *shudder*
This magazine must be stopped. OR at least, people who treat it like a bible must be stopped. Or maybe a combination of the above.
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